Hours of work finally spawned this:

( The First Shaman King Mary Sue Litmus Test )

Lou: Kahran... you're bursting out in welts. What the hell are we doing here?
Research, m'boy. Research. *egypt-dances to Falco*

Saki, please don't ask what I was doing in this section of the pit. I was bored and needed to do a little research for the sequel to Paradox of Authority.

And today's headache inducing summary search shows....
[CLAMP Campus Detectives] In 1935, a young boy was killed. In 1996, he is transferred to CLAMP school. [Crossover with Yami no Matsuei.]
-Yknow what... I don't wanna know. *puts Wolfram, Nokoru and Hisoka in one room* o_o

[CLAMP Campus Detectives] A collection of oneshots written for the 100 Chances Livejournal Community. Various ratings. Shounenai. SuohAkira.
-I KNEW they were having wild rabbit sex in the council office while no one was looking!

CLAMP School Detectives Nokoru, Suoh, and Akira are getting understudies, and it's all Nokoru's idea! How will the group deal with three female understudies? And more importantly, will the boys finally find love? Read and Review, please! Chapter Four Up!
-Kahran says the Sues are invading and should leave Suoh and Akira alone to have wild rabbit sex while the president watches via conveniently placed security camera. Yuss.

This is a story of the clamp camus detectives. I have dyslexia be nice ok . . .
-Now THIS is the most creative excuse for badfic I've ever seen!</i>

ATTENTION: TCGANIMEFAN GAVE ME THIS STORY. I HAVE NOT COPIED HIS WORK. Okay. Misty almost dies because of Ash's debt, and mewtwo saves her. Mistymewtwo.
-My icon says it all man. My icon says it all.

Sorry, but this isn't based on anything by Clamp, I just didn't know where to put it. Summary: What happens when you wake up in a hospitle with no recolection of who you are, and then are told you've been there for five months and later you find out that
-I smell a wannabe... SOMEONE POINT THIS GIRL OVER TO FICTIONPRESS!

Nokoru is falling in love. He is experiencing newfound emotions, feeling something he hasn't felt before. Will this be the right girl or will he have to fight off someone close before he can have her?
-Yknow, way back when, I was assigned to look after this kid. Guess I missed a few sues.

CLAMP School Detectives fic. I know not many of you agree with it, but this is a akiranokoru fic. Bear in mind, I've never seen the anime, only read two of the volumes, so some facts might be wrong. Boy, I suck...plz R&R
-Yknow what, Kahran is making a fanfic based on a fanfic yet Kahran is still doing allergy inducing resear- ooh... chocolate~

(Shounen Ai implications) The CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan now faces a new challenge, one that will cut Nokoru deep: A strange girl is seen crying and they rush to her aid, but what if the person at fault was Nokoru's own brother?(NokoruXSuoh, OCXOC)
-Hi, koi.

He turned us to the darkness. I planned for her death in the light. The gift Espeon transferred to me before she died, would be the one I used to torture and kill countless others, before I used the attack on her and watch his pain. Umbreon's POV
-Ooooh! I like this fic already! :D


Peewee Herman decides to go on a Pokemon quest. What cliched surprises await him?
-No words... no words... not even the icon can save you now.

This story will be long, and very exciting. It will most likely hook viewers to it.
-No hint to what it's about?

A pokeball for a magnum, white leather for a suit, Team Rocket for the FBI. James has changed a lot in eleven years. But now an assignment, with the reward being Rocket's destruction, may undo him.
-The icon. Look at the icon.

A slight spin off wiseabsol's MEWTWO TRILOGY wit a little Jak and Daxter thrown in. Kiyra and Mewtwo make a bet and now Mewtwo's a human girl and Kiyra's a Male Mewtwo. Can the survive a month like this without falling in love or will their new personalti
-I find the strangest things.
Lou: Yeah. Like that time you found a pikachu/bulbasaur LEMON?!

HAHAHAHA! THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STUPID! Don't read this. Really. Don't read this story! Please R&R! HAHAHAHA
-Uh... ok. We won't.

I just wanted to be a normal Houndoom...but it seems fate had other plans for me...
-I LOVE LOVE LOVE pokemon centric pokemon fics. :3

Sequel to Mewtwo's Friend, Mewtwo's daughter has grown up and is out on her own exploring the world. Meanwhile, Giovanni's son has taken over for him, and a scientist makes a few discoveries
-WHY DO I FIND THE WEIRDEST THINGS?!

Faster than a speeding Pidgey, more powerful than an angry Zapdos...It's Superchu!
-*runs away*

Ray will travel thorugh Kanto blah, blah..
->.> My goodness but that's a complete summary.

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*emerges with arms full of pokemon centric fics with the occasional Kojiro/Musashi*
Lou: ...so much for research.

OH MY FUCK THIS IS HILLARIOUS!

Excerpts from the suethor's profile:

IMPOTENT!111: ok I wil b taking a brake during da summer, so don’t accept n update until lik septemer, lolz. fanx 2 al da ppl 4 being sportive except 4 da flamerz.
IMPOTENT! XDXDXDXD

Im Tara. Im a Satanistr and if u dont lik me coz of dat den FUK OFF!
A Satanistr. Lovely. I wonder if they're connected to the santanists.

Fave muzik: GC, MCR, Evinezenz, Linin prak, BLINK183, mraliyn manson, all da odder goofik bandz
I've never heard of these bands before... Are they good?

And check out her petition!

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Offhand note:
Sue?
Please make the call.

Apparently, there are a few sues in the fandom... and we haven't seen them all.
Lou: I see... a Riff!Sue and another Hargreves.
Oh christ.

Even though Earl is a much respectable status for him and I agree that his name should be Earl Cain, but I prefer Count because it sounds nicer.
Foolish fantwit! Isn't it the same thing?!

As of 06042006 at 1129H, Master Commander Cicero F. Kahran calls a red alert.

THERE IS A CAIN SUE. I REPEAT, WE HAVE FOUND A CAIN SUE!

So far, there has only been one VERY short chapter and inactivity for a year but it's there. It exists.
Lou: And we will do what we can to rub it out. *cocks shotgun*
Dude... Cain's your problem. I gotta watch Jezebel.

Story Or Series Title: Girlfriend or the ? (The WHAT?! Don't leave us hanging! Girlfriend or the washer, Girlfriend or the Kitchen Sink, Girlfriend of the Scum Between My Toes... CMON!)
Fandom: Coz I love CEOs YuGiOh!
Culprit Author's Name: Hoovergal

Full Name (plus titles if any): Sakura Lavender
Full Species(es): girly!sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): long, light blonde hair
Eye Color (include adjectives): purple eyes
Unusual Markings/Colorations: n/a
Special Possessions (if any): The "sweetest smile"

Annoying Origin:
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters:
Annoying Special Abilities: Can turn Seto's brain into jelly
Other Annoying Traits:

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( Sue powers at work )
( And here we find Seto sounding like a 13 year old on his first date )
( Sue wears shiny! )
( SEX ON THE FIRST DATE!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAH~!!!! )

Story Or Series Title: All Roses Have Their Thorns
Fandom: Hey that guy with the pink hair is HOT! Yu-Gi-Oh
Culprit Author's Name: Darkfire 75 (Ye GODS! She has Sues all over the place! And that's ONE LONG PROFILE!)

Full Name (plus titles if any): Isana Hainesworth (Did I even spell that right? O.o)
Full Species(es): InvitedHome!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): blond
Eye Color (include adjectives): nothing mentioned
Unusual Markings/Colorations: n/a
Special Possessions (if any): Seigfried's nads in a box

Annoying Origin:
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Just someone Leon decided to invite home.
Annoying Special Abilities: Um... she's apparently speaking German.
Other Annoying Traits: Shifitng from Seig's comapny to Seto's.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
( Sue, meet Leon. Leon, meet Sue. Now be uncharacteristically nice and bring her home )

( Sue gets hired at Kaiba Corp despite the horrible horrible accent )

x-posted at marysues

Why... WHY am I the one who always finds the first Sues?! First, Advent Children, now this!

Story Or Series Title: The Moment You Came Into My Life - (The cliche... it KILLS!)
Fandom: Yakitate! Japan
Culprit Author's Name: hinata061389

Full Name (plus titles if any):Cagali Hayashi - (The Gundam Seed reference is lost on me. :|)
Full Species(es): Roomie!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): blonde
Eye Color (include adjectives): blue (Typical...)
Unusual Markings/Colorations: n/a
Special Possessions (if any): A letter from Meister Kirisaki saying she HAS to live with Kuroyanagi.

Annoying Origin: >.< The fifth pit of Suedom.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She's the daughter of some unnamed Pantasia stockholder.
Annoying Special Abilities: syllabicating Kuroyanagi's name.
Other Annoying Traits: Looking... like a typical sue. :|

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( A letter from Meister Kirisaki )

---

( Fangirl Japanese! )

THERE ARE NO COUNT CAIN CROSSOVERS!!!!! *dances*
...
...
...Of course, I'm waiting for a fanbrat to find the fandom and throw everybody into Hogwarts. >.<

But the fandom... it's still so pure... NO SUES!!!! @W@

EDIT: There IS a Cain crossover out there. It just isn't in the Cain section. >:|

I decided to go see what had happened in my home fandom... Here we go.

She was rich, beautiful, and talented. She was a MarySue by definition. But what happens when that perfect world crashes...and she ends up in ancient Egypt.
-She's STILL a MarySue.

Mokuba's getting married, Seto's miserable, and there's a bride on the loose.
-They grow up so fa- SUE!

Pegasus loves Siegfried and wants to win him back, but can he convince him he's not just trying to get in his bed? How can he convince Siegfried that love is worth the risk of getting hurt again?
-Possible pairing but the combo makes my skin crawl.

Malik's cousin moves in. She also has an Item and yami. But, when a wish is made, all the lights are turned into chibi's!
-oh yay. /sarcasm

t's been a year since returning the YuGiOh guys to their own world. Here comes a new summer...and new adventures! [YuugixOC, YamixOC, MalikxOC, RyouxOC, BakuraxOC, AnzuxOC, KaibaxOC, OtogixOC]
-Everybody gets a parasite.

A new Seto Kaiba fanfic in which I am telling the story from Pegasus's daughter's point of veiw.In this story Jasmine Pegasus will realize weaknesses, overcome fears, and learn to open her heart up to people.
-And speak of love, friendship and PONIES! :D

Mai wants to be the best. Mokuba wants to be loved. These goals, as unrelated as they seem, draw them together, rather unexpectedly. Can a ridiculous, unrealistic crush transform into love? And should it?
-NO! IT SHOULDN'T! IT SHOULDN'T!!!!!!

---
Let's try another one of my fandoms.
What must a body do for good Jezebel/Cain??
---

When Kirsten becomes the Priestess of Shiho, she has to find her FIVE celestial warriors, summon the GODDESS, defeat the new villians who are really the evil celestial warriors, and defeat her rival from her world sounds easy, right?
-Of course not!

Toki and her Po'ed 'Oneesan' Nahoko get sucked into tUotFG as the 'sacrificial stars' and find the true meaning of friendship, love, betrayal, and most of all, sacrifice. NOT A MARYSUE!
-Mention of Toki, I laughed. tUotFG, I laughed. NOT A MARYSUE!, I laughed so hard, I died.

Miaka finds some old letters...
-And burns them to roast marshmallows.

A young boy and his fellow seishis will do anything to protect their Merlion No Miko!
-Hey guys... as far as I'm concerned.. THERE WAS NO MERLION!

Miahome used to have another Name, what could it possibly be? Trapped in Seiryus clutches, a Celestial Warrior triggers her memory, breaking free...
-Mia...home??

One final Summoner, One final God, one final chapter to the story of Fushigi Yuugi. Up until now, the fifth God, Tenkyoku, was never summoned. Now however, with the arrival of a girl and her brother, that chance may just happen. Only why is it a Priest?
-BECAUSE THIS IS A TWITCHFIC!

My OC version of Fushigi Yuugi. What does OC mean? Well anyway, good night....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
-No words... no words can express my shock...

basically a song fic to rascall flatts what hurts the most on the things houki regrets that she never shared with Hotohori
-Wha?? o.o

Miaka Yuki, better known as Suzaku, the greatest assassin known to Tokyo, is presented with her greatest challenge yet, to murder the man named Tamahome. What happens when the job becomes a little too personal and her heart overtakes her will to kill?
-AUs make my head go ow.

---------
Lesson learned: Never pop in there again. There were so many sues, I didn't know where to start. X.x
Let's try something tame... Like Harvest Moon.
---------

Nikki is a goth in Mineral Town, and with the help of the voices in her head, she goes on a KILLING SPREE!
-...so much for sane.

saiyuki_badfics pointed me in the way of this fic. It makes me hurl.

Title of The abomination of nature Fanfic: Never Okay (Yeah. Kahran will NOT be OKAY after reading this. Kahran will have to go get her stomach pumped. Kahran is gonna puke.)

Name of The culprit Author: The Original Kitsune Ryu (Yeah, coz, foxes and dragons don't mate.)

Creative summary: Mokuba is having problems, so he does something that hurts Seto more than him. But why? SetoxMokuba incest, as of now. Cause I decided to continue. If such content offends you, please, don't bother to email and call me sick, it won't work. (Yeah, so, instead of emailing you, I'll spork you here.)

( Where the wrongness (if such a word exists) begins )
( Wherein Seto is a OMGWANGSTBITCHSINNAH! )
( Sues use the phone... and Seto becomes uncharacteristically rude )
( Waitwaitwait...you lost me at the satin. )
( Here.. let me say it for you. )
( Honey, your big brother's gay, too! )

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MAN that was fun!